Monday, January 5, 2009

How to mend a broken heart Part II – Therapy Session

Owing to some comments in the past post, ive decided to put a reprise of that post. I’ve been told that my recipe might not “suffice” to all and sundry and while I realize that exceptions will always be there, yet I will try and cater to one more class. So without further ado, I let loose the therapy session.

1 Bottle Absolut Vodka, 1 Bottle Jack Daniels, 1 Bottle Tequila El Relingo Gold, 10 Liters water, 100 ml Pepsi, 100 ml cranberry juice, 250 grams. Cocaine, 100 grams brown sugar, 1 kg hash, 1 kg, TV, DVD Player, The Complete Tarentino Movies Collection, One Cheese Cake

Drink one liter water and take a piss.
Make ice out of eight liters
Prepare a shot of vodka with 100 ml pepsi and drink it in one go
Put on the movies one by one, any order you like, preferably shuffle them up, and then stack them!
Consume liquor shots on the rocks as per the following pattern
1. Bottoms up every time
a. a shot is fired
b. someone says fuck
c. someone talks in Japanese
2. Take a sip every time
a. A new character comes on to the screen
b. Any character comes on to the screen
c. A character leaves the screen
3. Drink straight from the bottle and keep drinking while
a. Samuel L Jackson is doing the bible recital, all three times, for as long as he is speaking
b. Someone loses a body part and blood flows out
c. Someone gets hit and is dying
d. Someone is doing drugs
4. Once the bottle of Vodka is finished, finish the Jack Daniels, and then the Tequila
Take the cocaine and the brown sugar, mix it in the cheese cake and give it to your neighbor as a gift

Drink the last liter of water and go take a piss

The total all movie duration comes out to be 12 hours, if you can finish all three bottles in this time, take a world trip, spend all your savings, do as many of your preference as you can, you’re probably going to die young!

If you puke during or after the session, do not read my blog, stop seeing me if you know me,

While the therapy is written out to depict as if one is to do it alone, that is by no means a requirement. This can be a group activity. Presence of contraceptives is highly recommended in a group activity however!

I have yet to experiment what happens when you do this therapy, and since I’ve been inspired by someone to write this, I am probably going to experiment this that someone (needless to say, liquor quantities are for one and in a gang repair therapy session the rations multiply by the number of people in the session)

p.s. I have no particular stringent brand recommendations, my suggestions are based on my personal preferences and you can choose your own type of liquor, experiment with the therapy.

For the record, the complete Tarentino movie collection is as follows
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Jackie Brown (1997)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)


Amanda said...

nice comeback:) lol

S! said...

you think so, i was going to flush this with all sorts of drugs, but then i thought i cant preach what i dont practice, so i gave the drugs away to the neighbors, hehe

Anonymous said...

I like to know where did you find tequila El Relingo. I heard is a very good tequila.

S! said...

its available at most specs and retails at around $35